Pardon me, sir.
¶
Mr. Paladin.
Excuse me.
"Paladin, if you are willing to deliver
"a certain confidential message, please see me.
"I will wire you $1,000 at whatever spot you designate
"upon confirmation of delivery of the message.
H.D. Templeton."
He's waiting right there.
I should add, this is a man who seems
to carry about him the burden of impatience.
As Lao-tzu said,
"The pheasant which is not seized will fly..."
"And the farmer will feast on the memory
of an empty plate and the flutter of feathers."
I'll see Mr. Templeton.
Mr. Templeton.
My name, unfortunately, is Paladin.
Ho, ho - come on now. You can do it, Jimmy. Come on!
Sure, you can. You want that drink, don't you? You can do it!
I already done it once, Bunk.
Ah, you got to do it again, or else you don't get any drink.
Come on, Jimmy. You can do it.
Hold it, hold it, come on!
Come on, now. Let's see you get it this time, now.
Come on.
Whoo-ha!
Come on, Jimmy. You almost had it that time.
Do I get that drink now? I need one.
Please? Ah-ah-ah-ah!
You've got to work for that first.
Excuse me.
Well, I just don't know whether I will or not.
Well, how long you think it'll take you
to make up your mind?
I'd like to get into that telegraph office.
Do you want me to go and get Sim and Burt?
I think I'd like you to shut up.
I take it there's no truant officer in this town.
Otherwise, there wouldn't be any wayward children
running loose in the street.
Oh, he's just
all full of sass, sure enough, isn't he?
I don't think about that wire.
I don't think you really want to send it, do you?
Not seeing this is the only way into the telegraph office.
Right?
You tripped me!
I swear I didn't!
Shut up!
Thank you.
You all right?
Leave me alone.
Well, I was under the impression
you were in some difficulty.
All he was going to do was slap me around a little.
Ride on out, Galahad. I live here.
Well, what are you looking at, mister, Little Miss Muffet?
I told you to keep away from me, didn't I?
Yes, you did.
Well, now- "To H.D. Templeton,
"Carlton Hotel, San Francisco, California.
"Message received from person named.
"Will await bank draft here
before forwarding message as requested."
Here? Here.
Well, now, not if I was you, mister.
Now, I seen what happened out front.
Now, that was Bunk Comers, from the Circle Y.
And there's a couple of more young hellions in this town
worse than he is, if you can believe that.
The message?
Oh, oh, yeah. Signed- "Paladin."
I'd like that sent at once.
Put it on the bill. Sure.
You are the room clerk? That's right, sir.
May I have a room? Oh, fine.
209- nice and sunny.
Thank you. Welcome.
You smoking, eh?
Look at the table.
Crumbs, dirt, fly specks...
One, two, three, four, five, six.
You can't see?
You expecting royalty?
Oh, get the slops out, now!
Oh, easy, Sal. Easy.
Bunk just come over to apologize to you.
Ain't that right, Bunk?
Yeah, I guess so.
Of course, if I was to think you weren't acting just right...
now, that would be different.
The man that pushed Bunk around,
is he in the hotel?
Nobody pushed me around.
I told you that.
Like I said, the man that pushed Bunk around,
is he in the hotel?
Well, that man's got to eat sometime.
So we'll just wait around, maybe.
¶
Ah, morning. How are you, sir?
Any reply come in to my message?
No, sir.
Well, where in Deerfield would you send me
for a really fine meal?
Fine?
Let me rephrase that.
Where in Deerfield would you send me
for a clean, adequately prepared meal?
Clean, adequately prepared meal? Hmm.
Right there in the saloon.
Now, it's not the finest eating house in town,
but it's the only one.
Oh, thank you.
If a reply does come in to my message,
I'd like to know about it if you can tear yourself
away from your intellectual pursuits. Yes.
Now, that was just plain clumsy of me,
now, wasn't it, mister?
Well, that's a charitable way of putting it.
Oh, ho, now.
I was just standing up.
I don't guess you'd shoot a man for that, would you?
Especially with a friend looking on.
Oh, I was just polishing it. I'm the neat type.
No. I-I don't think he's going to shoot nobody.
In fact, you know what I think?
I think he's the peaceable type.
What do you think, Sim?
I think he could be taught to be peaceable.
What do you think, Bunk?
Teach a man like that to be peaceable...
Now, that'd be a work of charity, now, wouldn't it?
Oh, there's the sheriff.
You all right?
Now, you boys go about your drinks.
Now, go on or I'll just send somebody out
to Circle Y to tell Mr. Kincaid.
They're just boys, you know?
Oh?
Little sadism on the side to occupy their time?
They're just having some fun.
There's not one of them that's downright dangerous-
uh, if they keep sober
and everybody keeps out of their way.
You know, I get the feeling that
everybody does keep out of their way-
including you.
Well, that's just part of the agreement.
You know, when, uh, all the Circle Y hands
used to pour into town at one time,
it'd make a cyclone seem like a spring breeze.
Come to a point where nobody in town
would sell goods to Mr. Kincaid.
That's when he come to terms.
No more than three hands in town at any one time.
You know, uh, seeing as how the boys
have kind of got it in for you,
I'd move on.
Thank you, Sheriff.
What do you figure on doing?
I figure on doing just what I came in here to do:
order my lunch.
You got a customer, Sal.
Maybe he'd like you to take his order.
He'd probably like a T-bone steak.
Shame you don't have any more today, Sal.
Regular shame- sure enough.
What about them, uh, lamb chops, Sim?
The way I heard it, mutton meat gives a man the bloat.
You ever hear that, Burt?
Why, it's a book fact.
Shame you don't have any more of that, either, Sally.
Well, I had decided on goulash.
You recommend that?
Hasn't poisoned anybody yet.
And I'm sure you're not out of it.
I guess we're not out of that.
One plate of slush.
Slush?
You're sure it hasn't poisoned anybody?
She said, "Not yet."
One plate goulash.
Oh, it just don't smell right. What do you think?
There's something missing.
Nobody makes better goulash than me!
Quiet.
I think maybe it needs some, uh, hot sauce
or some ketchup.
Oh, uh- excuse me-
some pepper, maybe.
What do you think?
I think that boys should choose their weapons
and their opponents very carefully.
And I think that you'll be able
to provide room service in 209.
And if the goulash should be too highly seasoned,
you will bring me another plate, won't you?
Mr. Paladin?
The reply you was waiting for?
Well, it come in.
Thank you.
You're lucky he didn't kill you, Bunk.
Well, we'll get him first.
Well, now, the air is a little clearer up here, isn't it?
Yeah.
I don't want that.
Tim, the clerk downstairs, says you're from San Francisco.
That's right.
Well, uh...
Then you're going back there, then, aren't you?
Mm-hmm.
Take me with you.
You may be the last chance I got.
Well, I understand there are stages that make that trip.
What am I going to pay the fare with?
The only money I ever see is what I can steal
from the cash box when the old man is drunk.
Anyway, Sim and all the others...
Unless maybe there was somebody like you
that maybe they was just a little scared of...
or they wouldn't let me go.
Why San Francisco?
There must be plenty of towns right around here.
Sure.
Maybe I could get a job as a dance hall hostess.
I could get pawed over for a nickel a dance
by the same bunch as down here,
just different names and that's all.
No, thanks.
But a city like San Francisco?
I'd have a real chance there.
Whatever else, nobody ever said
I didn't have looks enough to go around.
And in a place like San Francisco...
You owe it to me.
Well, I wasn't aware of that.
Sure. Just ride out of town, like every other man.
What do you care what Sim and Bunk'll
do to me after you're gone?
Look, I'd stay out of your way.
I wouldn't be any trouble, I promise.
Please.
All right. All right.
I'll take you to the nearest stage line
and see you on the stage.
And you'd better get your clothes together.
Sure. My room is just down the hall.
One minute. That's all I need.
One thing.
If you're right about those three downstairs,
we may have some trouble getting out.
Are you willing to chance that?
When it's the last chance.
Slush.
Sure, I'm leaving.
You try to stop me and I'll yell.
I'll bet if you was to yell real loud,
your friend would come right down here.
And if, uh, he had his gun out,
nobody'd blame us for shooting in self-defense.
I'm waiting for you to yell, Sally.
Bunk, you still got that knife?
Oh, yeah.
One way or the other, Sally, you're going to yell.
Now!
All right. Send her out.
Please, Paladin, don't shoot anymore.
I...
never thought about... gettin' killed.
Is everything all right?
Does it look like everything's all right?
Well, I guess the boys got a little out of hand.
I guess that's right, sheriff.
Just a little out of hand.
Are you going after the other two?
They're probably on their way to the Circle Y right now.
I told you, we had an agreement with Mr. Kincaid.
What kind of an agreement? To lie down in the mud
and let 'em tramp your face in it?
We'd try them if they was here.
Where you going?
I'm going to find the other two
and bring them back here, so you can try them.
Oh, mister?
Looks like you won't have very far to go.
That Kincaid?
Yep.
Now, you did say you'd try them if they were here.
Mr. Kincaid.
Why, Sheriff.
We had a little trouble.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
And what are you figuring on doing about it?
He's figuring on trying those two for assault.
Is he the one?
That's him.
I hire my hands young, with the rough edges still on 'em.
You can't break horses with saddle soap, you know.
Still, you think there's been a crime done, do ya?
I do.
How about you, Sheriff?
Well, I, um...
What evidence have you got?
Evidence?
No, I-I never saw anything.
Sally?
You saw it. Speak up.
Tell them what you saw.
I guess I didn't see nothin'.
Yeah.
You know, curiously enough, I believe you.
I don't think you've ever seen anything
outside yourself in your whole life.
Well, I-I guess no evidence, no trial.
There'll be a trial, all right.
There'll be a trial, Mr. Kincaid,
if I have to hold it myself.
You've been asking for a trial.
Well, you've got it.
Boys, he's yours, clear and fair.
I'll see that nobody steps in the way.
That's all I figured I'd need.
But...
But Mr. Kincaid, I... I-I don't...
I hire no snivelers.
You either face up to him, or you'll have to face me.
Now, the two of you, get across the street there.
And you, get out there.
Any complaints about your courtroom, Paladin?
Like I told you, Kincaid, there'll be a trial.
Your trial.
When this is over, I'll come for you.
Is that so?
Get out there.
Move.
Get ready.
Ready.
Well, like the man said, Mr. Kincaid,
this is your trial.
¶
I couldn't tell the sheriff they tried to bushwhack you.
I didn't know you were going to be able
to handle all three of them. How could I know that?
All I ever done was dream of getting out of this sinkhole,
and that's no crime.
You are going to do what you said?
You're going to help me get out?
I'm going to do what I said.
Here.
Hey, you want $1,000?
Here.
I thought maybe you was mad or something.
Mad?
Three men dead in a street
and me with a piece of lead in me
because you didn't have the courage
to say what you knew was the truth?
Mad?
You keep that thousand dollars.
And when it's gone- and it will be gone-
you'll end up in another sinkhole.
¶ "Have gun will travel," reads the card of a man ¶
¶ A knight without armor
¶ In a savage land
¶ His fast gun for hire
¶ Heeds the calling wind
¶ A soldier of fortune
¶ Is the man called Paladin
¶ Paladin, Paladin
¶ Where do you roam?
¶ Paladin, Paladin
¶ Far, far from home.